A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom- by Don Miquel Ruiz

I was introduced to this little Wisdom Book of the Four Agreements through Unity Ministries back in 2001, when a few of us formed a study group around this work. It truly is a guide in today’s modern world as a way to live life. The amount of personal freedom gained by living a life using these four agreements as guideposts, has been invaluable and live changing.

The Four Agreements are: Be Impeccable With Your Word, Don’t Take Anything Personally, Don’t Make Assumptions, Always Do Your Best.

Miguel Ruiz work is very much aligned with the five Unity Principles, which, to sum up believes that we have the power to create our own reality. And together, formulate a powerful foundation.

The 1st agreement is: Be Impeccable with your Word.

To be impeccable with your word, to speak with integrity has been the most rewarding, and beneficial way to live life. No one can take your words away from you. Many people are unaware the importance of being in integrity with their word. Our words are all we have, and we can build a life around our own words, when we are in integrity with ourselves.

Being impeccable with your word means that you are consistent, with yourself. What you speak becomes you. The tapes we play in our head, the feelings we have in our heart, and the words that we speak, when these are all in alignment, we can live a peaceful life.

When we are in integrity with ourself, there is no doubt that we are truly living an authentic life. The spoken word has so much more power than people realize. It is of utmost importance, for self preservation and personal freedom, to speak what is on our minds, to express what is in our hearts and create through our words. All of these, become the truth in which we live in.

As you treat integrity as a core principle, you begin to trust yourself more, and build a relationship with your own integrity.  As your integrity grows, and you place high value in it, you will begin to understand the “Modus Operandi” of environments and people around you. Integrity is a strong quality of reliability when getting to know someone or relating with people in general.

Which brings us to our second agreement, Don’t take anything Personally. I really benefited from this agreement because when growing up, I took everything personally. I took what others said to me to heart. If it was about how much a person cared about me, or how much I was put down. It is said that the human being hears 1 negative statement about themselves louder than 5 positive statements. As a matter of fact, the internal training one has to do in order to override any negative talk, which may have been instilled into the brain, is by reprogramming the mind, through repetition, speaking positive affirmations.

A dear friend asked me, “why is it you don’t get upset when someone says something negative about you or puts you down?” I had to tell him, “I came to understand why people put other people down, or why people bully others. The comment of one putting another down, is the lack in which that person has in their own life. If someone is pointing a finger at you, they have 3 fingers pointing back at themselves.”

When someone puts another person down, the mirror exercise is really good here, especially when dealing with individuals who tend to bully others.

I grew up being bullied everyday because I was different and from this I learned a lot about the mind set of a bully. This agreement validated that it is the bully type who will always try to take something from another, not to be taken personally, but because of something they need to fulfill within themself. I began to see this crystal clear, as I grew away from taking others negative talk personally.

The bully mentality will always try to get you to take what they say personally.. they will attempt to take your time, energy and money, as long as you let them. With this knowledge, I came to understand, none of these words or actions of others is about me.

I learned as long as I am in integrity with myself, I do not have to worry about what people say about me. People will always talk about others who are different. This is just how society is built.

The best thing is to trust your own word, your own truth, your own integrity, and be impeccable with your word. The next time you encounter someone saying or doing something adverse, which may meant to hurt you, remember, it is not about you, it is about their own M.O.  “Modus Operandi” or weakness within their own integrity system which allows for such steep judgements through words or actions.

The 3rd agreement, Don’t Make Assumptions is also a very important aspect to consider in life. An assumption is an uneducated judgement. It isn’t enough to learn the 2nd agreement, not take things personally, but also, it is important not to make assumptions about our external world around us, whether it be people, places, things or circumstances.

Have you heard one thing from one person, and then another thing from another person? The very example of today is to listening to two opposing news sources. Many assumptions are made when only one side is heard and thought of as truth. As is the same with growing up with divorced parents or friends, you will often hear two sides to the same story.

Hearing different, wavering or inconsistent stories or opinions of others can create a society of cognitive dissonance in which approves assumptions. This is what makes assumptions easy.

In today’s world, assumptions are running rampant. This is because we live in a “spoon-fed” society, where people are content with the exchange they receive because of what it provides. “Spoon fed” means someone gives something in return for something else, an incentive. Yes, that’s right, a society which incentivizes assumptions.

Whether the assumption is information, money, time or energy, where one stands to gain, for example, stores give rewards points to members who shop at their store, doesn’t mean the store is giving the best product or the best price, it is the assumption that store is the place to go, because a “reward” is available to them. People give money to others so they will or will not perform a certain duty, this is evident in today’s society, with people who collect pay in exchange of the hours worked or job completed. There may be many assumptions wrapped into this, perhaps, some may believe that this “source” or that reward will suffice ones dissonance. Kind of like a giving a dog his favorite savory bone.

The 3rd agreement reminded me, that God is my source. God is my source of power, strength and presence.  If something challenges your inner dissonance through an assumption, go after that which fulfills you and your truth. Happiness is not only on the outside, it is on the inside too. Assumptions are merely surface level judgements.

This is why agreement #1 is so important. As long as you are impeccable with your word, your own integrity, you begin to trust yourself, rather than trusting assumptions about circumstances which surrounding you.

The truth of your mastery is always beyond an assumption or judgement. It is that of right discernment. Somewhere in the middle of your parents stories, or your siblings or friends stories, you find your own truth.

Understanding the truth of who you are, becomes the very essence of getting to know someone, studying a topic or earning a degree. Know thyself first, the rest will follow.

In today’s world, a person learns to not make assumptions around such a high degrees of differing stories, as seen on mainstream TV. Get really clear who you are first, understand  your own integrity, within you, which dissolves any cognitive dissonance within you and what brings you internal peace. This is how we take steps and move towards our own personal freedom.

And this brings us to the last agreement,  Always do your Best. No matter what we do, we are doing it. This agreement isn’t about perfectionism, its about practice. Its about doing your best with what you have in what you are doing. People have varying degrees of skills, education and resources. Any job you have, or any task you perform, is what you are doing in the moment.

When we stay focused on the moment, we can complete a task, with care and diligence. A task can be done with intention. Even if it is just taking a bite of food and chewing it, you are doing your best. Whether it is praying with a friend, preparing a meal, drawing a picture, completing a task at work, or giving a warm embrace through a hug.

Your very best is happening in the present. and it changes as you practice. As you grow you practice, and it is through practice, your best becomes better.

The very best you did years ago, may not be the best you can do today. Understanding your best is always changing, yet it is always in the present moment. Practice becomes the key.

Many people are in a hurry to get on to the next thing, or get on with the next thing, and the next, and the next. But it is in the practice of staying present, in the moment, Staying present, practicing the other agreements, we become more intentional as we live life. Living within your means in the present moment, is the very best you can do.

Doing your best, is a life that God rewards, where we are living and giving in each moment 100%, no matter what we are doing, or what is going on around us.

With practice, we can create habits or routines in which to live by. We might as well build good habits around doing our best..

By honoring all 4 agreements when you are: impeccable with your word, don’t take things personally and have made no assumptions, in which the moment is filled fully. This is when you can experience the triumph within it.

These four agreements have long become a part of my practice. As I practice staying fully present in the moment, I am continually reminded of my practice in living an intentional life.

I am grateful to experience the many benefits of this framework of the four agreements, as guideposts in which to gain personal freedom in life.

Thank you God for the milestones, to know you walk with me, through right discernment, freedom and peace, in God presence.

And thank you Don Miguel Ruiz,  Ambassador of Good!